This event has perhaps changed my life in a complete new perspective. My dog has been missing since the 5th of this month and ive looked everywhere, talked to everyone, posted flyers and ect. the last time anyone seen him was on the 5th. my other dog came home with a 22 bullet next to his heart witch naturally crushed me, but he was fine thankfully. The fisrt dog i mentioned has still not come home, but im trying to think positive under the circumstances, so since ive talked to everyone this tells me someone is lieing and for someone to lie about something so important breaks my heart and has stirred every thought ive ever had about every single human being ive ever met (with few exceptions), this being said i think people deserve a lot less credit than they are being given and that people shouldn’t be so co dependent on one another because when the rough gets tough those people you thought would all be there and be reliable suddenly have better things to do and are most likely glad you have that problem instead of them. ps~ im very against the right to bear arms act now and will be the rest of my life.
You say you still love me like you did (so do i) and that you would never intentionally hurt me (and i know you wouldn’t). You say im your best friend (and your mine). Your moving to Michigan for schooling and im happy for you but i want you here with me (selfish?). I don’t want you to leave me because there is still something for us here weather its convenient or not. You taught me how to love back, you taught me how to smile and mean it. Please don’t go.
I have never been afraid of death mainly because i know its always draped over my shoulder and no day is guaranteed for us to wake up to. My only fear has been to be forgotten after death, death for the dead. I was walking through the cemetery today and noticed that when we do pass on all we are remembered by is a rock with some words on it. That expensive rock is not going to say what your passion was, what your dreams or ambitions were. Inevitably, we all will be forgotten in some form. Everyone has a story or legacy, its just the upkeep that is our fall from grace. Which brings me back to a conversation i had a while back with a friend:
we got on to the subject of breathing and our fears. I love the feeling you get when your alone and its peaceful its just you mirroring you and the sensation you get when you notice your breathing, just to take it in and just breathe.
Witch lead to the subject of death.
the person i was speaking with was excited for death but not the idea of it, just to see what happens next, and i said” im not afraid of death, i just don’t want people to forget that i existed”. This was my worst fear, to be forgotten. Then what was said brung slight tears to my eyes when this person told me “why care? since birth you are on your own, and your going to die alone just like you where born, why bother to be remembered?” My response was quick to say” because, i as a person have a legacy and if my legacy dies i die completely and if it goes on my story wont end.” Then the question was asked” whats yours?” again my response was quick i said” my life, my past, the memories Ive shared with people, the relationships Ive had with them, knowing i helped maybe brighten someones day. That alone would give me the satisfaction of knowing that ill be remembered in some way or another.” the view was changed and the person said “. i think someone will remember you”.
Today we spent today together as just friends,
we even went to a waterfall,
it was beautiful,
but not as beautiful as you.
you kissed me, it was heaven.
i kissed you back it was nirvana.
you live on one side town
i live live on the other
you say lets just be friends
i say i agree
you say your fine
i say im fine, but im lying
i still love you
i still hurt for you
i still want you.
but we are just friends so maybe that doesn’t matter as much anymore.
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